January 2012
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Did you guys know I’m in a band? I play the rape whistle
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Bad parenting is like good dubstep. Just wait for the drop, THEN things get interesting
Alright
T-Rex’s dancing to dubstep
I just want you all to picture that
Okay
All of my jokes tonight are apparently going to involve dubstep
Okay who wants to kiss me at midnight
Bidding starts with your self esteem
December 2011
what
my fifth most reblogged blog is “reblogged”
i have never heard of that blog before
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matturday asked: I am goIng to find you and take away your sunglasses forever.
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josiahfiles:
tumblr, it’s missing-e not missingno, it’s not gonna fuck up our games
okay let’s all just appreciate how cool yesterday josiah was
he literally opened up this text post only thinking
“i should make a joke about this missing-e thing”
and just on command
wow
what a champ
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Anonymous asked: Hi, uhm. You seem like a really neat person! I've always wanted to talk to you, but I'm too nervous. afldkslaks. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really like your art, and that you're hilarious. kbye
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rocketfists:
I met Noelle by complete luck. I messaged her on Tumblr one day and I was like, “Hey. Would you be interested in being in a hypothetical relationship with me? We don’t actually have to date or anything, just list me as your common law spouse for health benefits and I’ll buy you food.”
And she responded surprisingly positively, which is really cool!
From that message I think...
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Anonymous asked: woah w8 ur hot lolol
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you know, if you listen to someone saying “do the math” as it would be said by a person with a very thick lisp, it gets dirty very quickly.
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cloysterbell replied to your photo: pokemon and tumblr we are the coolest of people
That looks like you twice… Do you have a twin?
lol twinsies txt iiittt
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tumblr, it’s missing-e not missingno, it’s not gonna fuck up our games
Josiah “attempts to summarize what he’s doing and what’s happening by overruse of fake and illogically long nicknames placed between his first and last name” Files
Josiah “wears 20 dollar arch-supportless converses to his job at an expensive athletic shoe store” Files
Josiah “has to type his password three times with growing frustration and slowing typing” Files
So my sister had friends sleep over last night
And one of them watches me on YouTube
And I actually heard her giggling and quoting me
It’s mildly unsettling, just odd. I always forget that the people who watch my videos and everything are real people, and not just a number on my channel.
It’s easier to think of some people as real here on tumblr, but that was just, a weird,...
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theoncomingsagan:
i simultaneously want to congratulate and murder whoever let josiah get ahold of those sunglasses
kellyblogsfromthetardis:
I feel like there is a lot i can comment on about the comfort level of men’s skinny jeans to the size of their penis.
kellyblogsfromthetardis:
harrytomlomsom:
idk if Josiah follows me but, Josiah, you are good at tumblr
Josiah follow Harry.
and that’s all i needed to hear
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thedukeoflions:
josiahfiles:
thedukeoflions:
josiahfiles replied to your post: harrytomlomsom: I really can’t pull off skinny…
joseph i think you missed the joke
I still think they’re the creations of Satan himself
COME HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE
THEY SUCK
HOW DARE YOU
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thedukeoflions:
josiahfiles replied to your post: harrytomlomsom: I really can’t pull off skinny…
joseph i think you missed the joke
I still think they’re the creations of Satan himself
COME HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE
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Anonymous asked: I love you, I really do. keep it up bruh
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Sex is like caffeine
I just Mountain Dew
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sadfolkmusic asked: that actually wasn't me, i just woke up from my slumber.
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Anonymous asked: CAN YOU DRAW ME ARE YOU SINGLE OR STRAIGHT IS JOSIAH YOUR REAL NAME HOW TALL ARE YOU CAN I GET YOUR FACE ON A T SHIRT IN DECEMBER DRINKING HORCHATA I'D LOOK PSYCHOTIC IN A BALACLAVAAAAAAAAA
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cowsaymoo asked: I think the horchata thing is from the vampire weekend song.
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FAQ. FAQUAH. FACK. EFF 'EY CUE. HOWEVER YOU...
okay so i’ve actually gotten a lot of questions that i haven’t answered, either because I thought it would get annoying for me to answer all of them, or they’re just not of general interest to you folks
so if you’re curious, or didn’t get a question answered or something, hey
1.) first and foremost, “CAN YOU DRAW ME??”
probably not. i don’t...
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youngstero liked your photo: this is my impression of oliver young doing an…
man, that was a joke and everything
but ever since that post
i’ve just been REALLY cold
its freakin me out, man
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If i have any regrets in life
it’s that I never was able to get Batman to follow my blog
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rocketfists:
harrytomlomsom:
By the way.
We’re expecting full illustrations for the story of Maurice the Man Turtle.
Someone get on this.
Do it, seriously.
Someone do it.
joshishollywood:
Conducting an experiment for science: please respond to this post with a photo of your best impression of a basking shark. Thank you in advance
super chill
joshishollywood:
I’m imposing a cutoff for submissions right now to allow myself time to organize my findings into a final dissertation: please stand by as I do science
dammit i didn’t get a chance to show josh my face
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theoncomingsagan replied to your post: okay now the snow is just ridiculous we’ve…
send some snow here i want some dammit i need birthday snow
thedukeoflions replied to your post: okay now the snow is just ridiculous we’ve…
I WANT SNOW DAMMIT
but I live in the crazed, bipolar crotch of New York
and not only has the snow already stopped
it’s melting
okay now the snow is just ridiculous
we’ve already shoveled the sidewalk twice, and my boss keeps coming down and jokingly saying
“I thought I told you guys to shovel! hah hah haaa”
WE GET IT DAVE
SNOW IS AN ONGOING THING
WE GOT THAT
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