Giggling at the computer, he glances at his clock, not out of any real concern, just a general, default motion, a non-curious “oh what time is it? i’ve got until 3:15, i should be fi-THREE FOURTEEN!” slinging his backpack on, he shoves his feet into the shoes waiting at the foot of the bed and bolts out of his dorm, zero to sixty in ‘oh-shit’ seconds. Sprinting across campus, waving at an acquaintance or two, his gangly form loping across the quad gets a couple giggles from bystanders, but he doesn’t care. He CAN’T care, far too worried for that. The student blasts his way into the library, and panting, asks, ”Where’s… room 406?” checking his schedule again.
“Up the stairs and through the double doors,” the woman at the desk says kindly.
“Thanks” he replies, still out of breath, follows her instructions up the stairs and into the classroom.
3:18
but of course, he’s late. Why would anything else happen? It’s the first day of class, and murphy’s law holds true yet again. All eyes are on this awkward form now, as he throws his glance across the room, quickly, nervously, searching for a seat. Waving and swallowing nervously, he spots a friend and checks for a seat near him. Nothing.
“Ah,” says the kindly and large professor, smilingly, “someone get this gentleman a seat. Room is made and he is shuffled down the aisles and wades sideways through an awkward group of sitting students, each girl giggling as he holds his bag aloft as if fording a river. He plops himself down next to a girl, the female class representative and gives her a friendly ‘my bad’ grimace. She giggles and he is patted on the back for his smooth entrance by a friend behind him.
*roll intro credits and theme song*
OKAY MY LIFE IS OBVIOUSLY A SITCOM NOW